Many Are Called, Few Are Chosen — How To Tell Who Is Who
This is required reading if you are struggling with church: https://theholygospel.net/2026/08/11/why-i-love-church-hurt-and-you-should-too/
Is it possible that you can actually learn to love church hurt? Theologians have indicated that such might not actually be a contradiction but an essential part of growing as a Christian.
This is essentially my Bible even though I wrote it for surviving Church hurt and it might be useful for you too.
We all know a guy who loves his neighbor like a champion and yet has never quite given the Lord his whole heart, and we have all quietly wondered whether that man is chosen. Jesus ends the parable of the wedding banquet with the words “many are called, but few are chosen,” but the parable itself shows the calling going out to everybody at the crossroads, with the choosing turning on what each guest does with the invitation and with the garment the King Himself supplies. It is not our place to sort the guest list. The Lord looks at hearts we can only see the surface of, and the only heart He assigned to us is our own.
I know a guy. And so starts many sentences these days, including “I can’t but I know a guy,” and that goes with an image of Jesus. Anyway, this guy does so well on the second commandment of our Lord Jesus but not so well on the 1st. He loves everybody. He always has a joke or a clownish gesture and he truly loves to see people happy, doing well and enjoying themselves. When someone in the community passes on he is the first to shed a tear.
On the 1st commandment, he has literally said to me that he doesn’t believe everything that I believe. And we have really never had a theological discussion. He is not a church goer nor a Bible reader. Twice in the last 4 years that I have known him he has happily and proudly told me he was reading some section of the Bible. First time was Romans 8, second time was Gospel of John. He drinks, he is married but he flirts. He gets away with it with the ladies because they know he is just being clownish like a child. He graduated from a Christian University and he used to play in a worship team. He has told me that he won’t sing “Sympathy For The Devil,” and when he sings “Friend Of The Devil” he sings “friend of the devil (ain’t no) friend of mine.” It’s just that what you see on the surface is who he is deeper down. He has told me that I am a deep thinker, but it was hard to discern whether he meant that complimentary or in sympathy.
Here is the question. He was clearly called. The Lord wanted him on the team. But is he chosen? Has he chosen?
Certainly you know someone like this guy. Maybe in some aspect you are like this guy.
It is almost enough to make one believe in Calvinistic predestination. Maybe he can’t quite commit and walk purely the narrow road because he has not been chosen, and maybe he literally can’t get there. Maybe he is the less than ideal soil of the Parable of the Sower (Matt 13-15). God’s word tries to grow in him but never thrives. But another aspect is that he says that he prays every day. It’s like he loves the Lord but not with all that he’s got. The guy that likes to see everyone having a good time, succeeding and smiling. The one with a wife who knows he flirts with the other ladies but knows it means nothing.
Or maybe it is just not our place to judge. The Lord knows his heart. We do not. We can only see the surface manifestations and behavior. So the question becomes — what about thee and me?
There is a guy in my church who looked at me suspiciously and disdainfully for every Sunday of the first few months when I started attending my church, and who accused me, to the pastor, of not having any talent. When I saw an opportunity to ask him for forgiveness on something and gave him a hug, he said “don’t worry about it, you’re ok.” What was it that Jesus said when someone said to Him that He is good? Jesus, God incarnate, 100% divine/100% human, said that only our Father in Heaven is good. So how come this guy thinks he can say that I am ok? And yet when he got his baptism a few months ago he cried voluminous tears that mixed with the water he was in and called out to the Lord, “Use me!” And when his sister was having a serious cardio issue, he got on his knees and prayed to the Lord not to take his sister. And you know what? When they helicoptered her to the hospital there were no signs at all of any cardio issues. So do I get to judge this guy? That would be a “no.” His belief seems to have him in good favor with the Lord.
And so, many are called, few are chosen. Only the Lord knows who is who.
Classic Commentaries Corner
John Wesley, in his 1741 sermon The Almost Christian, described a man who keeps the outside of religion sincerely and loves his neighbor well, and then confessed the same of himself: for years he did all the outward duties with a real design to serve God, and yet “my own conscience beareth me witness in the Holy Ghost, that all this time I was but almost a Christian.” The almost Christian cannot be spotted from across the street — and neither can the altogether one. Which of the two a man is, is a matter between him and God.
Augustine, in Sermon 169, drew the line exactly where this parable does: “God who created you without you, will not justify you without you.” The Lord who made a man’s heart without asking his consent will not remake it without his answer. That is why “is he chosen?” quietly turns into “has he chosen?” — and why the answer is known in one place only.
G.K. Chesterton, writing in the Illustrated London News in 1910, said: “The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.” The church brother who once sized you up with disdain and the same man on his knees praying for his sister are one person. Loving him is not a contradiction — it is the assignment.
Corroborating Scripture & Christological Connections
Matthew 22:1-14 — the parable of the wedding banquet. The invitation goes out first to the invited, then to everyone the servants can find at the crossroads. The chosen are not those who received the call; they are the ones who came, wearing what the King provided.
Matthew 22:14 — “For many are called, but few are chosen.” The banquet is the kingdom, the Son is the Son, and the garment is the righteousness God Himself supplies.
1 Samuel 16:7 — “People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” We see the clowning, the flirting, the not-church-going; the Lord sees the man who prays every day and weeps when a neighbor dies.
James 4:12 — “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge… who are you to judge your neighbor?” The question the bulletin asks is the one James already answered.
Matthew 7:1-2 — “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.” Sorting the guest list is above our pay grade in both directions.
Revelation 19:7-8 — the marriage of the Lamb: “Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear. (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)” The wedding garment, then and at the last feast, is given.
Luke 18:14 — the tax collector who would not even look up went home justified before the Pharisee: “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Essential Takeaways
- Called Is the Invitation, Chosen Is the Feast: the word goes out to everybody at the crossroads; the choosing turns on what we do with the invitation and the garment the King supplies.
- We See Surface; He Sees Heart: the flirt who prays every day and the accuser who cries “Use me!” at the baptistry are both in hands bigger than our judgment.
- Both Commandments Count: a man can run the second like a champion and still owe the Lord the first — but only the Lord knows the ledger.
- Not Ours to Sort: “Is he chosen?” turns the question around: what about thee and me? The only heart we can tend is our own.
- Neighbors and Enemies Are Often the Same People: love them anyway. That is the whole job description.
Prayer For Whomsoevers
Lord help us refrain from judging anybody or trying to determine who is chosen and who is not. Regardless of what others might do, help us not judge each other, not condemn any other soul and to focus instead on our own hearts, our relationship to You and Your heart and to love others, overlooking and forgiving all trespasses so you may forgive and forget ours. Thank you Lord from your grace and mercies, new every morning and in the name of our Lord and Savior and Your Son, Jesus, we say AMEN!
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